When Twilight Meets Skulduggery
by Stephen Fatewright
Summary: What happens when Vampires meet a Sharply Dressed Skeleton that can create Balls of fire? Well, baring in mind that they've been alive for quite a while, there's gonna be some history, but in the end it just comes down to one thing, who's more of badass.


When Twilight Meets Skulduggery

They were still.

A single set of feet walked through the snow. And though these footsteps were far from the clearing, the Vampire's that had already gathered there could hear them, the wolves could smell the entity as it came closer to the clearing. Yet no one moved. They were soundless, and motionless. Even their thoughts were that of ushered whispers. They were all simply unaware of what was occurring.

There were two sets of Vampires in the clearing. One were a group of clans, there to negotiate for the life a new born child, that was mistaken for being a danger. The other were the Voltori, Vampuric Royals who were the authority of the Vampire world. One of the clans were the Cullen's, who were also joined by the werewolves of the surrounding land.

No one moved. No one made a sound. They merely listened, with their supernatural ears, to the footsteps that were coming their way.

The steps were calm, but serious, evenly spaced and seemed so casual as if they were educated in a way, that made the situation normal, second nature.

The Vampires listened with such intent. The footsteps were not quiet, but they were neither loud. And the reason as to why the Vampires stayed so still, was because the footsteps seemed to do something in their minds... They Echoed.

And soon enough, the footsteps, and the body they belonged to appeared from behind the Cullen's and their gathering of allies. This person appeared to be a man. And this man, continued to walk onward, pass the first set of Vampires and Werewolves, and into the clearing when he stopped in the centre standing in between the two sets of creatures.

The Voltori had the intent of dealing with a matter that appeared to have been postponed. And that matter was a young half human, half vampire child by the name Renesmee Cullen, who's mother; Bella Cullen was now cradling in her arms whilst she looked on at this stranger. And she narrated;

"_Who? Or perhaps the better question was, what? This man had no blood, no scent, in fact I wasn't even sure if he had any meat on him, but that would just be insane. He couldn't just move with nothing... Could he?_

_He was thin... Scary Thin._

_He was creepy to look at, and he had some seriously strange clothes on. He was wearing a suit underneath a long raincoat, a big hat that matched the suit, and then the weirdest part, a big fuzzy looking wig, one heck of a humongous scarf, and a big black pair of sunglasses. _

_But even though he gave me the creeps, I also couldn't believe that the Voltori were simply standing by and allowing him to be so informal. Who was this person, this thing?"_

And almost as if the mysterious figure could hear the thoughts of curiosity and anticipation inside everyone's heads, he spoke three words;

"The name's Pleasant." The atmosphere fell silent. The Voltori, had done it. They had just achieved the impossible. They had now felt the emotion that they were incapable of producing. Because as Mr. Pleasant began to remove his wig, scarf, and Sunglasses, Bella's mouth dropped, the Wolves Stared... And the Voltori became scared.

Bella's thoughts ringed the same;

"_A Skeleton... A Skeleton... Talking... In A Suit..."_

Over and over. When Mr. Pleasant was finished removing his disguise, there only thing left of him was a indeed a talking Skeleton in a suit, (and one of a very fine make at that)

Bella's Daughter trembled in her arms. The Wolves gazed on in shock. No one moved for a moment. And then Bella realised why even the Voltori were shocked. This being, this creature was more than what he appeared. There was something about him, something evil, as if it were from the Darkest Nightmare inconceivable. Mr. Pleasant was something to fear.

Aro, one of the key figures within Voltori stepped forward slightly.

"Sk-Skulduggery," he whimpered "What brings you here? It-it's uh, such a surprise."

Aro was attempting what could only be described as a feeble attempt to appear calm. Which, for Bella and some of the other Vampires, was terrorfying to see.

"Funny you should bring that up," said the talking Skeleton. His accent was that of an Irish man, soft and trance like, but at the same time you hear the whisper of anger restraining itself.

"It's a missing persons case. Strangest thing, a young man went missing whilst he was travelling in Europe. Well, I say missing his have been told he's dead, bus crash apparently, poor things still don't have his body for the memorial service. They're absolutely devastated you know? Heart Broken, distraught, depressed."

Aro could be seen growing more and more nervous.

"That sounds simply awful," he said.

"Oh, it's much worse than awful," Mr. Pleasant replied.

"It's digusting, ugly, disgraceful, offencive, evil, satanic, unlawful. That's the worse one of all for me, a Detective, unlawful," Mr. Pleasant paused, he seemed to be grwoing impatient, but seemed to make a decision to humour it.

"I's the funniest thing you see," he continued.

"The young man was on a tour bus, with a very well known company. It wasn't actually far off from were you and your friends live." Aro's face looked like it could break into little pieces from utter panic.

"But what's really strange," Mr. Pleasant went on.

"Is how he doesn't seem to be the only one who's body was not found."

There was silence.

And then Aro stammered;

"W-what does that have to do with us?"

And the air grew hot, and crisp, as if each breathe taken was like breathing small molecules of glass. The snow around the Skeleton's feet, began to slowly, and ever so subtly steam, like it was laughing gracefully at what events were about to unfold.

"Are you taking me for a fool Aro?" Mr. Pleasant asked, his voice was cold to the point that it burned.

Aro was starting to lose himself a little.

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?" He retorted in panic.

"WHAT, ARE Y-"

"Aro," Skulduggery interrupted.

"Are you 'still' taking me for a fool?"

Aro gulped, as if to signify that there was no way out, except the doom that this entity had awaiting.

"What do you want from us?" Aro asked.

"I want you to apologise." Aro's face plumeted. He looked as though he was about to throw up.

Mr. Pleasant began to move forward, Vampire edging back cautiously. Aro's lip began to tremble. Skulduggery grabbed the Vampire Lord by the scruff of his neck and draged him away like a whimpering school boy.

But just as they reached the edge of the clearing, he turned around and said with a warm tone;

"Sorry for the intrusion. By all means, please feel free to continue."

And with that, Skulduggery left, and Voltori remained hanging their immaculet god like heads in shame.

(And so it appears, that we have learned already, just what happens when Twilight, Meets Skulduggery).


End file.
